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Friday, 25 May 2018

I'm a complete mess..... And I'm loving it!!

What can I say?

The evening started early with afternoon tea at the Belmont Hotel in Leicester for a friend finishing work on maternity leave.  It was all really nice and the cakes were luurvely! We then made our way to The Lansdowne for cocktails (2 for 1 for NHS staff - it really would be rude not to!). Our party gradually dwindled down then as people started to leave to catch trains.

The sun was setting, it was still warm, a really lovely night. Which was when I made my decision. I was going to walk home.

One friend went into town to catch the bus and the remaining two of set of in the opposite direction. It was just starting to spit with rain but still nice. We walked and chatted  until we reached Queen's Road and decided to stop off in Babelas for a glass of wine. Or two. It was here I embarrassingly forget about the cakes I'd got for the kids in my bag and, as I delved into my bag for my purse, my hand came out with, not my purse, but buttercream covered fingers 😳

It was properly raining when we left. We walked to my friend's house and, after meeting hubby and dog, and turning down the offer of calling a cab, I set off for home. I checked and it was only 2.2 miles. I could do this!

Thankfully there weren't many people about at that time of night. In the rain. Surprising really....... If there had have been, I think I may have been reported as the mad woman laughing to herself, walking in the rain, getting soaked!

This will be hard for many people, who maybe take their health and fitness for granted, to understand but the exhilaration I felt walking home is indescribable.

When you have been in a position of genuinely believing you are going to die, just that simple act of walking home made me feel more alive than I have felt for a very long time. By the time I got up the hill to the top of Welford Road I was grinning from ear to ear, possibly looking slightly manic and scary! The rain got heavier, my clothes were stuck to me, my hair was plastered to my face, my shoes were filling with water and squelching and I was loving it!! As I reached Palmerston Way I was laughing and crying at the same time so pleased with myself! Again I realise this would be no boggy for most people, but for me it was such an accomplishment. I reached home just after midnight, also discovering , contrary to my previous belief , that a lot of our streetlights DO go off at midnight!. I was soaked to the skin but soooo happy! I DID IT!! I walked home.

Some may think I was stupid, stubborn, recklessa.  I may have blisters in the morning, I may feel exhausted, tired, and achy in the morning, but you know what? I DON'T CARE!!!  Because at least I'M ALIVE to grimace at those blisters when I try to put my shoes on, I'M ALIVE to feel tired, I'M ALIVE to feel my bones Aching.  I may wake up and berate myself for being maybe very slightly stupid, but I do not and will not regret a thing. I'm alive and kicking. That's a feeling that nothing else can beat and no-one can take that away from me.

So thank you to my friend for not forcing me to get a cab. Thank you lousy British weather for helping me to feel so alive.Thank you for helping me to feel like me again!


My journey has just begun........

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